Today, today

When I drove past the lake, the waters were calm. Good day to kayak, I thought, it’s still early.

I got the hand-nurse again; she’s so uncomfortable. What was her name again, her tag is turned around the wrong way. I look at the skin on her arms and wonder if she’s close to retirement. She can put lines in other spots than hands; but it takes way more fiddling.

Celeste can put them anywhere, and fast. She’ll tourniquet your goddamn arm off.

***

Today, I don’t know the lake.

I don’t know why I’m so angry, throwing things away with prejudice.

I don’t want to calm down, I want to ride the wave up, I want the tide to come in.